For the first time in a very long time, the NBA's Slam Dunk Competition didn't have my heart racing as if I'd just wakeboarded through a shark tank. Instead, it left an aftertaste in my mouth that even Everclear and listerine couldn't wash out.
I wanna say this first: I don't have a problem with short guys. At my current height of 5'8", on a good day, it's inbred in me to cheer for the short guys. I love Darren Sproles, J.J. Barea, David Eckstein, Martin Short, Michael J. Fox, Tom Cruise and a slew of other midgetesque entertainers.
Sproles is that shifty running back that defenses lose sight of as soon as he hits the line of scrimmage. Barea makes seemingly impossible reverse layups over giant like statues of defenders. Eckstein was the improbable MVP of the 2006 World Series despite being overlooked by many teams his entire career. Short went virtually unnoticed during the better part of the 80's until his lead role alongside Danny Glover in the 1989 blockbuster, Pure Luck. Fox is Canadian. Cruise is some sort of demigod within his own religion...or something like that.
These guys are all role models for us short guys. The unwritten code among short guys goes something like this: We always have each others back. No matter what. Whether it's for an Emmy, Grammy, MVP, re-election, back-alley fight, it doesn't matter.
After the past three years of watching a midget should-be gymnast, Nate Robinson, win the NBA Slam Dunk Competition, I've had enough. The code can no longer interfere with my passion for the NBA and their celebrated "larger" than life competition. I'm putting my foot down and begging for a new rule to be enforced..."You must be this tall to ride this ride". Please, Mr. Stern.
The "show" that was put on last night by a midget and three nobodies was the most disappointing professional skills competition since they had pro athletes on American Gladiators. About midway through the second round, Charles Barkley said it best, "These guys better show us something before the crowd gets up and walks out." I'm sure the execs at TNT cringed when Chuck busted out with his disappointing comments, but he was simply stating the obvious.
If that's the best the NBA has to offer when it comes to a dunking competition, maybe they need to provide some incentives for the real big boys to come out and play. There was no way in hell that LeBron James or Kobe Bryant was going to compete in last night's dunk contest against a midget and a bunch of nobodies. What was there to gain?
In the 80's and 90's the dunk contest was all about pride and becoming a legend by doing something creative that no one had ever seen before. Think about guys like Dee Brown, Shawn Kemp, Harold Miner, Isaiah Rider, or Vince Carter. They will always be remembered more for their dunks than anything else they've accomplished on the court. Nowadays, the guys like LeBron and Kobe don't want to compete, because if they embarrass themselves, their ego would take a big hit and it might affect their current "legendary status". So, they play it safe.
Let me ask you something, why is LeBron already considered a legend in the same breath as Michael Jordan? Simply, the NBA's marketing juggernaut alongside Nike have made everyone believe that he's more of a legend than he really is. He has zero championships (Jordan had 6). He has two bronze medals and one gold (Jordan won two gold). He has one scoring title (Jordan had 10 scoring titles and an NCAA title). He's never won defensive player of the year. He's won zero slam-dunk competitions (Jordan won two). What I'm saying here is that he's not even close to Jordan and he never will be.
I don't care if he's only 25. He'll never catch up to Jordan in any of these categories...except one, the dunk contest. Lebron has the opportunity to seal his place in NBA folklore with some jaw dropping dunk contest performances that will put him in the same breath as Kobe and Jordan, even if he never wins a championship. But, if he doesn't win a championship or a dunk contest, he'll go down in history as the most selfish, over-hyped, over-rated player to ever play in the NBA.
Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban has a great idea for fixing the dunk contest. He says to put up a million dollars and a super sports car and have a no holds barred winner take all contest . Anyone in the NBA can sign up. You get one dunk. Best dunk wins. The cash goes to the charity of their choice and the player keeps the car. Everyone would watch that, right? I believe that most of the big names in the NBA, including an arthritic Shaquille O'Neal, would compete in it.
Let me know what you think. Did you guys even watch the dunk contest last night? Did you not tune in because of the poor quality of dunkers? Did you tivo it like me and were damn glad that you didn't watch it live? Did you just not care at all?
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I didn't watch the contest, never have. I don't really see any new amazing dunks coming out anymore. Unless they add extreme props or something I just can't see it being that exciting after all the dunks have been showcased. I'm sure providing cash incentive will draw bigger players, but even a million dollars probably won't bring the biggest names out. That's a portion of their yearly salary for the potential to, like you said, embarrass themselves and ruin their 'legendary' status.
ReplyDeleteI agree on LeBron, he's probably no Jordan, but he sure is fun to watch...and yes, he could be dunk king. Jordan also played with some pretty good players though too, and no matter how good you are you can't win a championship alone. I'm not saying LeBron doesn't have as good of teammates, but maybe the chemistry isn't as strong there.
As far as one man doing the job of a team, I'd say he's in the same league as Jordan with a worse supporting cast. I'm not sure that a senior citizen Shaq brings the extra umph that team needs.
I don't weigh championships or Super Bowls or Crystal Footballs so much when considering a player's greatness anymore though, either. It's just too many variables outside of their control. I mean look at guys like Dan Marino, a farking legend but no rings.
Josh - Dan Marino put up those numbers because his team was always behind and they never had a running game. He was a great player, but he's more of an Allen Iverson type. Iverson had to take about 25-30 shots per game to score his points. If you look at the box score, Marino and Iverson put up amazing numbers...if you watch the game, they were just really good players that were selfish.
ReplyDeleteOn another note...Jordan was a winner first and a basketball player second. His will to win at everything he did, no matter the cost, will always separate him from anyone else that plays the game of basketball. LeBron is just enjoying the ride and playing his butt off in the process. He doesn't have the competetive instinct that Jordan possessed. He's a blast to watch and plays the game with a ton of passion and you can see that he knows there's more to life than just winning.
Let me tweak your ban on short guys and say there should be a ban on tall guys. In my opinion, Dwight Howard shouldn't even be an option on your poll. And he should have never been in a dunk contest. The scale just doesn't work. Dunkers need to be between 6'8" and 6'8". Otherwise you either get little Tinkerbells and Silvermists out there who dunk it so weak the ball comes to rest in the net, or nerds on stilts who are so tall they jump, fly, and hit the floor again before they've even finished their dunks. Nate Robinson is a great dunker, yes, but his work is best appreciate in an actual game. And I can't abide his never-ending misses. Guy has no conscience. He doesn't realize he sucks the spirit out of every last man, woman, and child in the arena with his misses. By the time he finally completes a dunk, everyone is already checking out ten-minute YouTube clips of "Short Circuit" on their smart phones. But there's Nate Robinson, smiling bright like he's just won the Tour de France. Completely oblivious to the lameness of his misses. And Gerald Wallace? Shame, shame, we know his name. But not for long. He was moping around that contest like his mom had just pulled him out of bed for school on the day they were scheduled to explain human reproduction. DeRozan pulled some double pump dunks that were humiliatingly weak. Dominique and Harold Miner must have been rolling over in their graves. DeRozan barely got the rock down below his chin.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I'm not sure I have any ideas about how to make the contest better. I just want them to act like their having a fun time out there. Is that too much to ask? Vince cursed us. He raised the bar so high, when we weren't even expecting the bar to be risen, that no one dares to do anything. But, seriously, can't they practice? Like Olympians? To the point where they just come in there and NAIL some dunks? Seriously. That's the most frustrating thing. Step up and do something hard. And accomplish it.
Whatever happens, I'll never be able to NOT watch this dunk contest train wreck. Give Cuban's idea a shot. What do we have to lose? Nothing. The problem is that it comes from Cuban. If he really wanted it to have a chance, he should have passed it along to some league chupamedias like Kevin Mchale or Danny Ainge. The only thing Cuban that Stern will ever entertain is a cigar.
We totally left out Jason Richardson. Check out his dunks here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54SV5M5DBXE