You won't find any college football coverage here. I'm not Mel Kiper, I'm not Kirk Herbstreit and until the bright folks at the NCAA devise some sort of real playoff system and start punishing the real culprits inside of each and every recruiting scandal, consider this my formal boycott. I mean really, why should Matt Barkley and the rest of the crew at USC take it on the chin for Reggie Bush's antics back in 2005? Why not prosecute these former "student"-athletes, who've cheated their fans and Universities, for committing fraud? Oh, I know...because the NCAA isn't exactly the straightest shooter out there.
Back to the league where players make an honest living and their only problem is finding enough party favors that would put the 70's ABA to shame.
Let's glance into my brand new Apple iCrystal (Amazon.com $399) and breakdown how things will shake out in Week 1.
NFL Week 1 Picks:
Miami @ Buffalo (+3)
Miami is this year's trendy pick to win the AFC East division and they got a huge break this season when the league office released the new schedules. The Dolphins learned their annually most unanticipated game on the schedule was set for early September and not mid December. An eager and hungry Dolphin squad will roll into Buffalo on Sunday expecting to walk away 1-0. Hold the phone. Isn't Bill Parcells still employed by the Dolphins? Well, something's rotten in Miami and it reeks of old tuna. Meanwhile, the Bills have flown under the radar for the past few months even after having a malignant tumor removed in the form of Terrell Owens. Combine that with the fact that home field advantage still exists in the NFL and this has all the makings of a 16-9 stink bomb. Pick: Buffalo, 16-9.
Detroit @ Chicago (-7)
Detroit's main focus this offseason was to get rid of anything or anyone with ties to Matt Millen. Much like Jimmy Johnson did with the Cowboys in the early 90's, Jim Schwartz started cleaning house on Day 1. A few gray hairs and roster moves later, Schwartz and company look primed for another losing season. The only difference between this season and seasons past will be their level of competitiveness. Expect a lot of close games out of these Lions, which should continue to help their confidence and give them hope in 2011. The Bears are looking for some dividends out of the Jay Cutler investment. I'm sorry, but when you put your franchise in the hands of a pouty spoiled brat, you get what you deserve. If you could compare NFL players to NBA players, Jay Cutler would be the equivalent of Baron Davis. He puts up great numbers, his teammates love him, and coaches love his game while continually being burned by his attitude. Pick: Detroit covers the spread but Chicago pulls off a come from behind 24-21 victory.
Oakland @ Tennessee (-7)
Chris Johnson has been salivating for this game since his 2009 run for the record books came up just short of Eric Dickerson's single-season rushing record. His twitter account has been on overdrive the past couple of months after he announced his goal of 2,500 yards rushing this year. Um, that's over 160 yards per game Mr. Johnson. Oh yeah, you have Vince Young at quarterback. This is totally doable. Pick: Tennessee runs wild for a 31-17 victory.
Cincinnati @ New England (-6)
All the talk this off-season about the Patriots has been more about their adolescent defense and not enough about Tom effing Brady and Randy Moss going into their 4th season together. I'm not sure if you're aware of this but those guys are locks for the Hall of Fame. If anyone thinks New England is on a "down" year...think again. Do you think Brady would sign an extension if he didn't feel like they had a chance to win every season? As for the Bengals, their roster has done enough hard time to rank them ahead of Adam Sandler's squad from The Longest Yard for best prison league football team of all-time. Pick: New England will restore the faith by manhandling one of the AFC's best defenses for a 34-20 victory.
Carolina @ NY Giants (-7)
Addition by subtraction was a common theme among NFL teams this off-season and the Panthers were no different. They dump flailing quarterback, Jake Delhomme on the Browns and have reason to believe that no matter who steps in to fill his shoes, they should be a considerable upgrade. Their defense should again be in the top 5 against the pass. Combine that with two above-average running backs and guess what you get? I have no idea. This team has more people confused than DiCaprio in his latest thriller, Inception. Eli Manning is prone to throw momentum killing interceptions and expect Ahmad Bradshaw to finally let the Giants know who the alpha dog is in their backfield. Pick: The Giants give Panther fans something to cheer about, but for how long? Panthers take it 17-14
Falcons @ Steelers (+1.5)
I'm guilty of being completely biased about this game. I can't stand people that rape or are accused of raping other people. Steelers: check. I can't stand over-hyped running quarterbacks. Steelers: check. I can't stand teams that have beaten the Cowboys in the Super Bowl. Steelers: check. Even after running through that checklist, I still love their defense, coach, stadium, nickname, and even Polamalu's hair. I hope for the Falcons sake that Matt Ryan isn't happy with being the Phillip Rivers of the NFC. The Falcons will be in the discussion for Super Bowl favorites every season as long as Ryan plays Mr. Nice Guy with the media. Please do not fall in love with the Chargers, Falcons, or Packers this season. Give me one guy on each defense that has a decent post-sack dance. You can't. Pick: Falcons were given this game when this famous quarterback decided that he was the coolest guy at a college club in Georgia. Falcons win running away, 27-13.
Cleveland @ Tampa Bay (-3)
This game is certainly right up there with Broncos vs. Jaguars for most irrelevant week one matchup. Neither team can play the Tebow card here and they are unmatched in anti-star power. Let's try to think of some superstars in this one....and now I've got a headache. Bring back CHUCKY!!! Pick: Experience will be key here and Cleveland runs rampant with guys who've sat on the bench before in the NFL. That's more than Tampa Bay can say for themselves. Cleveland wins this season's toilet bowl by a touchdown, 21-14.
Denver @ Jacksonville (-3)
I'm giving Denver about 3 quarters of football before they hand over the keys to Tim Tebow. Listen, they have no receivers and they really don't have a running game. Solution: Run Tebow, run! This won't be enough against just about every NFL team this side of Oakland. Pick: Jacksonville wins a laugher in front of their only sellout crowd (all wearing Tebow jerseys), 38-10.
Indianapolis @ Houston (+1.5)
I love the Texans at home against just about anybody. I especially love them against an aging Reggie Wayne and the non-existent running game of the Colts. However, I'm hung up on these three things:
- Can Coach Kubiak really take this team to the elite level? Are both Texas teams doomed by their own head coaches?
- Can Matt Schaub stay healthy for 20 straight weeks? He finally played an entire season last year, but that makes one out the past three.
- How much of a homer are you if you're rooting for any team or player with the letters TEX in their names? I love Mark Texiera. How can you get rid of that guy if you're the Texas Rangers?
Arizona @ St. Louis (+4)
This line really surprised me for the simple fact that both teams are pretty much throwing rookie quarterbacks into the mix. I know Derek Anderson has been in the league a few years, but he still plays like a rookie. Why else would Cleveland replace him with Jake Delhomme? In a battle of inexperienced offenses, I've gotta take the home team plus the points. Pick: Rams and Sam Bradford give St. Louis something to cheer about since their baseball team just crapped all over them the past two months. 23-20.
Green Bay @ Philadelphia (+3)
The Packers have been getting the publicity this off-season and rightfully so, but Philadelphia is still sneaky strong. I can't tell you how many times I've said they Eagles were toast and they always seem to make the playoffs. It should be interesting without McNabb leading the offense for the first time in over 10 years. I love home teams in Week 1, but I also love Aaron Rodgers' hair. Pick: Green Bay is too much for Kevin Kolb and company. 31-17.
San Francisco @ Seattle (+3)
Singletary vs. Carroll. Integrity vs. Bailout. Intensity vs. Street smarts. If this were a battle of morality, the 49ers win running away. Its not. The NFL doesn't hand out merit badges and sell cookies. Pick: Seahawks win on the strength of their home crowd and Carroll's enthusiasm. 13-10.
Dallas @ Washington (+3.5)
McNabb is 2-5 against the Cowboys in the past three seasons while playing for BETTER team. Why should tonight be any different? The Cowboys have concerns about the offensive line and how they're going to protect Tony Romo. Local media have been hammering this point into the ground for over a month now and I feel like they're overlooking an important aspect of the game, defense. The Cowboys still have DeMarcus Ware, Bradie James, Terrence Newman, and young Pro Bowler Mike Jenkins. Pick: Dallas wins a close one, 30-27.
Baltimore @ NY Jets (+1.5)
Most interesting match up by a long shot. Both teams play great defense, run the football effectively, and have big personalities. I love the off season acquisitions by the Ravens at wide receiver which was once their only weakness. The Jets have been in the spotlight this entire off-season and they appear to be up for the challenge. Monday night football will not get any better than this. Pick: I've gotta take the home team in a game like this. Jets win on a huge late defensive touchdown, 20-13.
San Diego @ Kansas City (+5)
Huh? Um, why was this game chosen to be a part of the Monday night doubleheader? Packers - Eagles? Cowboys - Redskins? Colts - Texans? Even the Raiders - Titans match up is more interesting. Oh well, Week 1 is still awesome. Pick: Kansas City will stun the NFL and expose the Chargers without the help of their star wideout, Vincent Jackson. 21-17.
Glad to have you back, and honestly I am also glad that you aren't going to cover the travesty that has become the BCS and college football. My favorite pick is Texans over Colts, but I don't think any of us (Even iCrystalBall - Amazon 399$) could have forseen that Foster would rack up yards like Barry Sanders in a Pop-Warner game. Cmon man. 231, 3 TDs.
ReplyDeleteDon't get me wrong, I love to see Peyton (the Golden Child) tear up on the sidelines more than anyone out there, but seriously their defense is awful. Schaub I am pretty sure was asleep most of the game. And I know that Andre Johnson was just relaxing for when he might actually have to work. I guess now we could lose Schaub and be ok.
I hope your betting luck continues to impress on your picks this year. I gotta catch up to you somehow!
What about my Chiefs over Chargers pick? Almost nailed the score and all!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you're Texans looked like a team to be reckoned with...especially when you consider that they're best defensive player wasn't even on the field. They should be a 12-4 team barring any critical injuries.